playing in mud puddles

not into the groove....

I am so out of the blog groove. I had it. I was swinging. I was in the. Zone. And then, I was not. I start days making solemn pledges to myself .... " TODAY, I will start blogging again DAILY ...." And then its night. And I'm in bed. Damn... Tomorrow...same pledge as above... You know. The story. ( except it's usually. Accompanied by another pledge... I will give up ( choose one or more ) coffee... Sugar... Grains... All of it....until I get out of bed and then reconsider and have a long black - ahhh ) And so it goes. So, no pictures today. Just words. Life is sailing. Fun is all around me. Just gotta start bloggin' again (cuz I do like it. Really) Here's to tomorrow's promises...

Holding...

 

 

I'm not around as much lately.

Both here and at home.

Funny then, to be photographing shadows.

While we all adjust to mum being out of the house a bit more, we are enjoying our time together.

Seizing moments.

Bites of time.

Still.

 

And, in learning to maximize our time together, I feel the joy, appreciation and fun remains.

Making time to play a family game or read a story.

Sit down together.

Laugh. Hug. Hug again.

Being mindful to really listen.

It's not as organic as I thought parenthood was supposed to be, but it's still a little bit special. 

In making a bit more effort, these moments are savoured (and I don't think just by me).

 

 

Driving home

Captured this moment on the way home the other night.

Thought you might enjoy it just as much as I did.

It's funny how we can pass by the same places time and time again.

And then, suddenly, that same place makes an instant impact.

Forcing you to stop.

Notice.

Take a picture.

Smile.

 

Choices

 

As a stay at home mum (who should really be getting the children ready for their day rather than sneakily blogging away) I find myself regularly to-ing anf fro-ing about this whole stay at home mum business.

ON one hand, I feel fortunate to have the choice and option to stay at home. I feel that choosing to stay at home in these times is an act of feminism. Mainly because it is now a CHOICE for women, not an unquestioning obligation.

On the OTHER hand, in making that choice, I see my professional career slipping through my fingers. Sand in a slow timer trickling past at lightning speed. My degrees are simply pieces of paper now. So much time has gone by OUT of the workplace that I know I would have to re-train before even being LOOKED at at a potential employee.

Every so often, these thoughts and realizations shake me in my core.

What if something happened and I HAD to return to work? How did I let this happen? Am I still a worthy woman if I am unemployable? Am I being a proper role model to my childre? Especially my daughters?

Then the OTHER side (now beings talking in third person) shakes it's loving yet stern finger at me .. Of COURSE all would be alright. Of course I am still a valid human being! LOOK at your (my) children and their wonder and love and trust and SECURITY and SAFETY they feel in you (me)... This is what you (I) dreamt of being able to provide AND it's HAPPENING. See this as an OPPORTUNITY to create a whole new side of SELF (study something that interests you for interest sake, CREATE, LIVE!!)

Now, my daughter approaches me, scratchy voice, low fever, sore tummy... "I need to stay home today mum..."

I can say yes. 

Right now, that is all that matters.

I am lucky.

Savour the sweet...

 

We celebrated Solstice (I know it was a wee while ago) by giving the house and ourselves a nice smudging with white sage. We also wrote a list of things we wanted to bring in (no, not an ipod touch) to our lives as well as things we wanted to release (no, not grumpy siblings) from our lives. This list was then burnt in a little fire in our sacred family circle outside in the garden . 

 

Fortunately, some wanted to bring more cooking into their lives (lucky us). 

Guess what? It's working. We've had homemade pizzas and salads the past couple of nights to all of our glee (especially mummy doesn't have to cook tonight me).

Not that this will be a daily (or nightly ) thing. However, I am VERY impressed, grateful and in awe. 

We've done all of this stuff before. And I know that there is great power in taking the time to create intention. It just feels like everyone in the house was into it this year. Everyone was together and in the same space and again, I had one of those, "is this REALLY happening? am I REALLY allowed to be in and have a family like THIS?" moments.

I really hope to remember these moments better and better this year. As we all know there are often many OTHER moments in between. 

Savour the sweetness...

Holiday cheer ( I am NOT stressed!)

 

 

Or so I thought. Evidentally, all of this holiday creating is taking it's toll(?!).

Monday has found me with a blown out back AND a cold sore (quite unsightly).

A few days of rest ahead of me (at least we already took our Santa photo).

The cheekiest bit about all of this is that I am SURE  I haven't felt stressed. My body speaks otherwise - 

 

Happy Monday to you all anyways ....

Happy Weekend!

 

Translation : "Mummy, would you like to have a swim after we pick the lettuce?"

Having a quiet morning at home amidst busy holiday times...

Saw this written on the chalkboard and had to stop... and reflect.

The author of the above question didn't even know how to write all of her letters at the beginning of this year...

Unintentional moments like this help me to reflect on the growth of this past year.

Another cycle.

Another season of endings and new beginnings. Growth in the ups and the downs. Moving forward while feeling stability in the rhythm.

I am such a proud mum of a beautiful family. 

Feel blessed this weekend for all of our beautiful families ...

xx

Jam on

You may remember our peach tree in the backyard. 

Well, we did the most amazing thing the other day... WE MADE JAM!

I know this is a very obviously simple task for most of you. For me, I am jam challenged.

When I am challenged with something I get this (secret)(secret)(so secret I can't even tell myself and I have to write only in parentheses) MASSIVE amount of fear and anxiety which I have to keep totally hidden.

The end result is that I just DON'T DO IT. 

I'll gather materials, buy books about the topic (got the recipe from "Jams and Preserves"), even read up on the said "challenge". But really, that's all a mask for NOT DOING IT. Then, I 'll start the head chatter -

"Do it!"

"But, what if..."

"DO it!"

"But, this could FAIL...."

"DO IT!"

"But, I could never be good enough.."

"Do IT, already!"

See, you're getting tired just reading this! You can imagine all the time I waste...

Anyways, the "DO IT!" voice eventually wins (Thank goodness). It may take a couple days, a couple weeks, it may take a couple years (like getting the courage to give this blog thing a try)...

But, always, in the end, cool things happen -

like making jam...

We collected the peaches from the tree for a couple of days. All were unripe, so we kept them inside to ripen for a couple more days. 

Then, we had to peel the skins off after covering them with boiling water. Because they weren't completely ripe (?), most had to be peeled with a knife.

(I was given instruction, "Smile, mum!" by said super photographer)

Then chopped up into itty bitty bits...

Then, lots of boiling with lots of sugar and a little bit of lemon (and chopped up apple in a muslin cloth for pectin )

And voila!

This sure gives me a new appreciation for jam.

And guess what... I gave some to our lovely neighbour (who is a jam queen) and SHE LIKED IT! She said it actually tasted like peaches, not just sugar (which made me do a secret WOO HOO! and made me feel all swirly whirly inside). 

So, go on, give a secret something a go today and see how you feel. Even if it doesn't work out, at least you have COURAGE to give it a try. 

How'd you go?

Swing!

Wishing you a special tree, amongst some fairies, to swing your worries away this weekend...

Shucking Peas

Yesterday, we were having one of those "life is perfect" moments.

We were sitting at the table shucking peas.

I was chatting about how I realized as an adult that I grew up never giving the slightest thought to peas...other than they were always bought in the freezer section of the grocery store and then stored in our freezer at home.

Then, as an adult, one day, about 11 years ago, a friend said, "What ARE  peas, anyway?" This was a bright intelligent woman and new mother. I too, being a bright intelligent woman and new mother, was stumped. It was then that we realized that perhaps there was MORE to peas than just being stored in the freezer section in plastic.

After that, my little 4 year old buddy, laughed out loud and said (with that giggly look of wonder),  "BUT MUMMY, PEAS COME FROM PLANTS!".

And then I thought that life was even MORE PERFECT than the perfect that I thought that it was before and I wanted to take another photo to remember it (but by then we had filled the little bowl and needed a bigger bowl which was pink and peas look better in pink, don't you think?).

So, I did. And then, he did...

And (here's my point) THIS is why I LOVE this blog thing. 

Because, when I look at these entries I remember the GOODNESS in these LITTLE MOMENTS.

I remember how I laughed out loud today with my child. How we shared a special simple ordinary everyday moment and IT WAS GOOD. 

Sometimes, I look at the entry or an old entry during the day (is that weird?) and it just LIFTS me. And I remember...

Because what I didn't photograph and what I might be drowning in (in another moment) is the laundry that is never finished OR folded OR put away OR the vaccumming that needs doing (even though I just did it) OR the bills that are never paid OR the bickering (the bickering the bickering!!) that comes from wonderful siblings asserting their opinions and standing up for themselves and GROWING UP OR the kitchen benchtop that never seems to be cleaned off OR the dishes that never seem to be done OR the OR the OR the OR the... you get it.

This blog allows me and reminds me TO BREATHE and REMEMBER - 

THANK YOU